Bloody Toes
by FrozenFractalsAllAround
Summary: Missing scene from episode 3x12. Snow White and Regina have a long overdue chat, in which the past is confronted and healing can finally begin. SPOILERS FOR NEW YORK CITY SERENADE.


**Well, I gotta admit I was bit disappointed by the season 3B premiere- but one thing I loved was the changing relationship between Regina and Snow. There's so much though, that's been left unsaid and undealt with between these two women, so I decided to step in and write a little missing scene from last night's episode in which the two finally confront some of their demons. Hope you all enjoy!**

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The ride back to the palace was quiet. Too quiet. It gave Snow White time to think, time to think on all that had transpired, all she had just lost. Time to wallow in the unfairness of it all, time to miss her daughter so badly it ached. Time to wonder what she and her son might be up to now, if they were happy, if they were okay. Time to wonder how things would change, what the future held for all of them.

There's was a slow progression, a band of weary travelers that looked only a shadow of the proud leaders they had once been. Snow White's husband led the way, looking dashing and regal in his royal attire. Her loyal friends, the dwarves, looked exactly as she had always remembered, with Archie- Jiminy- riding on Grumpy's shoulder, a cricket once again. Red Riding Hood and Granny followed behind them, both clearly on the lookout for danger. The last thing any of the them wanted was to encounter more flying monkeys.

Robin Hood and his men took up the rear, the newest addition to the rag-tag group. And just ahead of Snow was the stark black stallion sauntering in front of her, his rider's once regal head bowed under the weight of grief. The Evil Queen- it seemed such a silly label now, when the woman in question had sacrificed her own happiness to save them- all of them.

Snow wondered just when everything had changed. Had it only been a month ago that they had been at each others' throats? Snow had been so certain they would never see eye-to-eye again, so certain that the woman who had saved her life was truly gone. And yet...here they were. They had come full circle, and the former villain had proven herself a hero in Snow's eyes. To her there was no question- Regina Mills had more than redeemed herself.

Kicking her horse slightly, Snow edged up towards the once formidable Queen, glancing at her warily. Regina looked so much like her former self, it was eerie. Snow half expected the older woman to start raving about vengeance again, to try another spell or curse to take away everyone's happiness. But despite Regina's best efforts, she couldn't completely hide the dark circles under her eyes or the slump in her shoulders. And Snow knew, more than anyone perhaps, just what they had been through together. Just what Regina had lost. So for that reason, and perhaps because of all the pain between the two of them, Snow felt she had to at least say something. Anything, to let her stepmother know that she wasn't alone.

"Regina? You okay?" Snow asked softly, watching as the Queen's eyes flashed angrily. She glared at Snow for a moment, but the fight died almost as soon as it appeared.

"What do you think?" she muttered bitterly, turning her gaze back to her horse's neck. Snow smiled sadly, pulling her horse up as close to Regina as she could get. Maybe it was because they had wasted so many years hating each other, or maybe it was because of the amount of pain she had seen in the older woman, but Snow found she wanted nothing more than to be of comfort to her. Hesitantly she reached out, touching Regina's shoulder. She was encouraged when Regina did not pull away.

"You must be in so much pain," Snow said softly, choking on her words. "I know, I watched my daughter drive away as well." Regina looked up again, narrowing her eyes.

"You don't know anything about how I feel," she scoffed, though her tone was empty. "You still have your prince, your...band of dwarves. Henry was all I had. And now he's gone." Regina turned away, but Snow saw the tears. She sighed, withdrawing her hand. Would her stepmother never understand? She had always had Snow, until she'd pushed her away.

"I never stopped loving you, you know," Snow admitted quietly. "I wanted so much for you to be my mother…"

"You were selfish," Regina interrupted with a barking sort of laugh. "I lost everything because of you." Snow frowned- were they really having this argument again?

"Regina, I was twelve...and your mother...she tricked me," Snow explained for what felt like the hundredth time. Cora had been such an evil, manipulative woman, with her kind words and honeyed tone. It had been so easy to believe that Cora had wanted the best for Regina. Only now did Snow truly understand- and feel a twinge of guilt at the memory. The secret she had shared ended in the death of an innocent man- Snow would always regret that. But that hadn't really been her fault, had it? After all, it hadn't been Snow who had ripped Daniel's heart out- Cora had done that.

Cora...thinking of the wicked woman hurt more than Snow ever could have imagined it would. That was another regret, far more palpable than the others. Why hadn't she just given Cora her heart back without the curse? She wondered what would have happened then. Would Cora have joined them in Neverland? Would she have fought for Henry like the rest of them? Would she be by Regina's side now? They would never know.

"You should have listened to me," Regina insisted, interrupting Snow's inner monologue. "Then none of this would have happened." There was no true anger in her voice, however, as though she too knew that they'd had this fight one too many times. They were both tired. It was time to let it rest, let bygones be bygones. Snow wished with all her heart that they could.

"I know. I should have listened. I should have kept your secret, I should have done more, I shouldn't have killed…" she stopped, the guilt heavy like a weight on her chest. It seemed so ironic, given all the horrors Cora had committed, that Snow would feel such remorse for killing her. Regina's lips curled into a half-hearted snarl, one hand touching her neck- for the first time Snow noticed a necklace that hung there. It looked like a locket- had Regina always worn that?

"You were right, you know," Regina sneered, glancing downwards. "We could have been a family, we could have had real love. For a moment, when she looked at me..." she trailed off and looked up again at Snow, her eyes like daggers.

"I...Regina, I'm _sorry_," Snow pleaded, her voice breaking.

"Sorry doesn't change what happened," Regina retorted. "You killed my mother." Snow glanced up at the Queen, narrowing her eyes. She had made the exact same accusation of Cora not too long ago- why couldn't Regina admit that they had both suffered equally?

"And what about you then? You killed my father, you hunted me, cursed me, you took my daughter…" she trailed off at Regina's furious glare. Maybe it was the dark cape and stark eyeliner, but Regina managed to look legitimately frightening- even to Snow.

"Your father…" Regina chuckled darkly, shaking her head. "You never knew, did you? You idolized him." Snow frowned, confused.

"Of course, he was a good man, a good king. And you murdered him."

"I murdered the man who locked me in a tower," Regina said, punctuating her words carefully. "I murdered the husband who…" she stopped, and Snow suddenly felt afraid. Her father who what? He would never have hurt Regina, would he? He couldn't have.

"Who what?" Snow challenged, echoing her thoughts. "Who you married even when you didn't love him? Who's decision was that?"

"You know _nothing_," Regina spat, and for a moment Snow feared Regina would strike her. "My mother trapped me, I had no choice. And I was his bride, his Queen, and there were _expectations_." Snow felt a pit forming in her stomach at Regina's hollow tone. Expectations? Of course she knew that...but surely her father would never...never have _consummated_ their marriage? Not when Regina wasn't…

Suddenly Snow felt ill.

"No...he wouldn't…"

"He did."

Snow fell silent- how had she never known? How had Regina hidden that? And how had her father...her kind, benevolent father...how could he have done such a thing? Suddenly Snow felt a lick of anger, a sense of betrayal, something never before directed at the man she'd so loved and adored.

Snow tried to imagine how she might have reacted, in Regina's position. Surely she wouldn't have given in to darkness, even if she had been so violated? So bereaved...and god, Snow hadn't done anything to help had she? Outside of flower bouquets in spring and requests to build snowmen in the winter...her world felt like it had been turned on its head. What else didn't she know?

"I...I'm so sorry, Regina," Snow breathed, feeling completely at sea.

"What good are your 'sorry's' now?" Regina asked crossly. "It's done." Snow nodded numbly- of course, nothing could be changed. Not now. Still, Snow suddenly felt that all her suffering paled in comparison. She had lost her mother, her father, her throne and her crown- but found her true love. She'd had her family ripped from her for 28 years, but she had found them again. And again, and again. And always, always she'd had her friends.

What had Regina lost? Her true love, her freedom, her chastity, her mind. Her good heart. And then her mother, and now her son- and had she ever had a real friend? For the first time, Snow felt that she could see things a little more clearly- she hadn't meant to, but she'd only ever caused her stepmother pain. Like accidentally stepping on someone's foot- she hadn't meant it, but she had still hurt her.

And of course, she knew now- it was so easy to give into darkness, wasn't it? She could pretend that she would never have done the things Regina had, but hadn't she manipulated Regina into killing her own mother? It had been so easy...but she'd had Charming and Emma to prevent her from succumbing further to the darkness in her heart. Who had Regina had?

No one.

The weight of it fell onto Snow's shoulders like a blanket, wrapping her in her guilt and shame. She'd lost so much in her life, but in the end she'd had everything that mattered, didn't she? For perhaps the first time in forever, she felt selfish- lucky, even, in comparison. Words that Mary Margaret had once said floated through her head.

_"Your life must be filled with such incredible loneliness if your only joy comes from destroying everyone else's happiness. It's so sad Mayor Mills, because despite what you think, it won't make you happy. It's only going to leave a giant hole in your heart."_

Mary Margaret had forgiven Regina then, so easily. Because she had understood- why had Snow White been unable to do the same?

Snow shook her head slowly, forcing herself out of her shell shock. It was time to be done with this- no more stepping on Regina's poor, bloodied toes. She couldn't change what she'd done, but at least she could try to bandage the wounds.

"You're right," Snow whispered, stroking her horse's mane absently. "We can't change the past." She looked up, meeting Regina's eyes. "I can't change what I did...what anyone did. But we're here now, together." Regina looked at her carefully, and Snow got the distinct impression that she was legitimately considering her words.

"I know we're both tired of fighting. So maybe...maybe we can fix this," she gestured at the space in between them, "together. We…you deserve happiness." She reached out again, grabbing Regina's hand. And though it was faint, she thought she felt her stepmother respond- giving the slightest squeeze in return. Snow smiled, and despite all the grief that surrounded them, she was certain that someday, somehow, they'd all find their happy ending.

"There is no happiness for me without my son," Regina said thickly, staring straight ahead. Snow felt the bubble of hope pop- maybe some aspects of the Queen could never change after all. But then Regina spoke again, and Snow smiled all the more brightly.

"Still it's funny...when you say that I almost believe you."


End file.
